04/01/2014

New Years Eve, gig in the top bar. Dena pissing me off. “They are the only ones being paid and they are always late!” I would love to pack it up , but it is 2000 a year. Don’t see how I can ask for more money without being put in a very weak position and then having to listen to more lectures about being late etc. The only way would be to just say –we are taking a break from this say we are leaving, a bluff but maybe she would say what can we do to keep you? Then you are in a position of strength. A risk though.

Watching Ali G on my late nights, humour really is the only way to deal with this. Getting aggressive makes you look foolish –like when I lost it with Robbie that time –suggest she gets a time clock put in and we all clock in like in a factory a better approach.

After gig went out to Fish’s place – R had arranges to get us invited, didn’t really want to go but still good to be with other people for it. They were delighted with our music, Emma Una (mihail’s sister) quite pissed and funny. R+M in Sydney for hugh fireworks display. Grr..I had 2 pints a gig 3 Murphys cans + champagne later. Hangover next day, had to prepare as they were all coming down for ‘nibbles’ and champagne.

Made scotch eggs –took hours. No one wanted champagne (including us) next time don’t bother. Elaine just doen’t drink anymore (even when out) it seems. Dave had a drop of it and didn’t finish neither did Mihail or Emma –seems they ewere all taking it out of politeness. TEA in future!

Work is piling up, need to spend more time.

Emailed Susan (Willie’s wife) re Ozark Festival. Nice email back, nothing yet from Al White or Sam.

23/01/2014

Shannonside 6 mile festival last weekend.

Everyone is more benevolent at the moment. Paudi is calm and respectfull –we reckon it is due to Ciaran though. High Plains Tradition at the festival were inspiring to everyone, just so full of good nature and positive feelings. The affection and respect we received at the festival just made us all feel more confident. R being loving since going up, tonight the first sign of abuse –but she is tired – we have had a late night since Friday night- |KAT torrents have been blocked – I said I will miss my boxset shows – “you would prefere watching those to going to bed with me” –nasty comment. I reacted –not taking that shit, She doen’t want to do this (much) anymore but likes to put the blame on me. I am trying to keep the good feelings going from the weekend. John –to be fair to him- I am beginning to have more respect for him –although an intolerant bully at times – is not capable of saying anything stupid. He talks sense and gets to the interesting point. I learned a lot from people like Pat, all the Bluegrass band, PJ and even Joe this w/e. Mihail + Oliver were the most immature all w/e. it is real happiness to be comfortable in your skin, to respect yourself. I can remember when I was young waking in the morning full of remorse for the stupid conversations –drunken- of the night before. Tue night I held on to that, I was myself no bullshit or showing off (musically or otherwise). R blew it I’m afraid, normally she is great with people with a good instinct for not overplaying it , but with Brian Donovan she immediately went in with the blow about us going to the Ozark festival and how we know the Homestead pickers etc. I was embarresed as it made us look insecure and needy. Always surprised how she doesn’t get this. My mother was the same – the attitude that you should let people know how well connected/important you are (usually by association with someone richer/more famous). How do they not see this just makes people feel superior to you as they can see you are immature and have not learned that lesson yet. Brian said you should stop by Boston sometime, R said get us a gig and we will… all this reflects on me , I was trying to have a more subtle chat with him, the shame of her conversation reflects on me. So easy being with people who are on the same wavelength musically and intellectually. Tue night you are fighting it, stupid remarks –smutty- not funny you are expected to buy into. Dena reacting negatively to great songs by R –just because they are not trad. Best reaction is to go in with genuinely funny rfemarks and good music. Taking a back seat makes you look weak – espo when you don’t laugh at their stupid remarks.

27/01/2014

Booked flights to Chicago. Also flights to London for Blithe Spirit in March- hotel in W End booked as well.

Gig with Robbie last night –first in months. I was worried about it, the need to keep cool etc. Decided that it was essential to have a few drinks. Had martinis and wine with dinner, even an extra glass when getting ready –one of the few times (once before when freaked out by some deep cut I had) when I drank for the effect rather than the taste. Gig was ok but without being on the same surreal level as him (that where the drink helped I had a further 3 pints) I would have been at a disadvantage.

Late night watched ‘Justified’ ok but I want the new Breaking Bad. Hard to find. The trip to US will be expensive but I look on it as a part of my on-going education. Travel –esp of the adventures kind does change you – a beach holiday to spain doesn’t but meeting bluregrass people seeing how they live their live does. Occasionally I come across people from my past –like Gerry Lombarfd, Pa Houilihan etc, I feel secure in myself, I an so different to the person I was 20 years ago when they were patronising me. That is down to travel and meeting the best US musicians –being treated with respect by great musicians. You value yourself more.

29/01/2014

Tue gig last night pissed me off. Dena saying we want all new tunes now- they then impose their dreadful racket on us from what they have ‘learned’ from Carol Leader dring the week. I played Dunmore Lassies –insisted on playing a new tune –not to give them the soot! When I do play anything then they all join in and fuck it up!! Hate being paid by Tom as well, don’t know what to say to him and I have to listen to his false ‘bon homie .. Ugh!!

No ‘activity’ for a long time and the last 2 times were a disaster.

Attempted AIB online balance inquiry. Important to just keep checking that once in a while. Interest earned at least.

Oliver wants us for a Pete Seeger comemeration type gig in Ballyhooly. I think this is to spite Nyhan who he isn’t talking to at the moment though.

Re-reading this diary on kindle, makes me realise how lucky I am to have this computer business. Awful times working in Seanchas. R minding Ciaran today, I enjoy my wed morning breakfast – time to read my book etc. Discovered Scrabble on the phone –hours of fun playing with R + Rose + Elaine.

Reading The Longest Way Home –Andrew McCarthy. Saw it in porters –I have a good instinct for books I’m going to like. My new best read on Kindle. Listening to Oliver Reed biog, good but style of writing a bit irritating.

In work today Phil in unresponsive mood Stephen not talking again. New attitude –and applies to tue night as well –I don’t give a shit! I owe them nothing –just carry on do your work {which I enjoy}. €40 is such a small amount – if we were paid nothing how would we react? Why not behave with the same attitude as we may as well be getting nothing.

30/1/14

Enjoyable night. Got a Chinese curry take-away –as Joan was calling and it was going to be a late night. Just drank Pepsi-Max- tasted fine and was proud of myself. Joan + r had Bailys. I had nothing –fixing a laptop. Later enjoyed my beer + Bacardi all the more –as I felt I deserved it. Watched 6 feet under –it was good better than Boardwalk +Justified etc. everyone v rude again in CBS. Working hard on my ‘don’t give a shit attitude’ but its hard. Not sure how to plan US trip –flight to MO will cost over €300 but car hire + gas and fear factor cost as much? Why are we even going to Ozarks? Still just playing a bit of mando now reminded me of how nice to take part in a festival meet the people rather than just be a spectator –maybe worth the extra cost?

16/02/2015

Late night just watched house of cards fist ep + alan partridge –knowing me.watched the bridge last night – it is growing on me – but I miss BB Sopranos etc. still HoC was good.

Looking up cabins etc in Eminence – looks like a beautiful area. Chicage hotels are expensive – st.louis less but  need to cut spending as much as poss.

Last tue fierce storm + cork flooded –tide out on road so didn’t go to tue gig. We felt guilty –which was stupid as donal + terry dint go in either, dena trying to make us feel guilty.

Work qiet at the moment –always get a bit anxious –but nice to have some time to do otherf things –book hotels for holiday, practice tunes etc.

Watching mark Kermode and the dodge bros. I love the way they don’t take themselves seriously – just enjoying playing musuic. no big ego thing, unlike –say- Eileen healy ,ray baron “et al”!

Sold sarfa’s laptop to some old guy across the street – he got aggressive with me because Vodafone modem didn’t install fast enough –important lesson –do not sell old computers –esp tgo thick ignorant people –I made a tenner from this sale! Wasted my time and gave me griefe . Tom Kirbyh’s pc as well sold to Con –spent ages settibg up internet etc –now he is not happy wants a new one – I HAVE LOST TIME + MONEY! No morfe old pc sales!

16/02/2015

Valentines night in L+S dinner –better food than usual: blakpudding +apple tart starter, chicken pesto mushroom sauce. Full orchestra, dfancers ,singers etc. R had work in the morning so back by 1am, fell asleep watching The Veep. Gave R a rose and card – she said I’m not giving you a card –and didn’t no present either…

Worst storm in over 20 years –power off wed + thur until about 10 pm. Camping stove cooking , but enjoyable up to a point making do. A great reliefe to gt it back though- got to watch House of Cards.

 Setting up Con’s new pc – shit! No O/S this may end up costing m money. Vista will not install as needs 64 bit –had to put 7 on, maybe get key from MS –based on old laptop with unreadable key.

16/02/2015

R working tue –as Sara gone – so extra LN. buying comp for Con was a big mistake –it will cost me (at least) €100 now to buy a Win 7 licence. I rang CKIT asking for a copy of Vista 64 bit, Kieran was friendly and said they would as I was “in the trade” but then Peter said no –they would install it for me only, I have dec ided I don’t like him  Barry was a nice guy. I made the mistake of beingt a bit wheedling. The other chap –who I thought was Kieran- was condescending and just humouring me . We will discus it and get back to you.  What I now realise I it is not worth it! Pay the €100 admit you fucked up –it is better than being treated like that, and I also don’t want Con ringing in a few weks time saying –“you sold me a counterfeit computer”.

Reading Hockersmith’s book about running a comp repair business is encouraging –I like his American approach to it.

Another email from Mary Cox –another mistake I’m afraid! I was flattered at the time to get the response, but now when I mention it to Nyhan I just get a glazed look. R completely ignored me when I brought up the subject as well –just looked at me. Pat Kellegher the only one anyway interested. I completely misjudged that –I thought Nyhan would be interested.

I larned from my mistakes: James Kenan –cn’t believe I allowed him take the HD on instalment plan.

Selling old computers: Sara’s and Kirby’s –combination of old comp and ignorance.

Watched HoC + Veep last night, enjoying The Veep now, R doesn’t like it –can be v quick to judge a programme.